Until It s Gone
by winchesterbrothers67
Summary: Sam has an accident and dies, Dean has to find a way to save him and at the same time try to safe himself from his mind. Will Dean Winchester be prepared to live without Sam or he would sacrifice everything again to bring his brother back?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everybody! It's been a long time I know and I'm so sorry about that! Honestly I quite forgot I had this account hehe. Please forgive me. 3**

 **Well here I have a story that honestly I think is my favorite so far.**

 **This happens in whatever season after S2 :) ENJOY!**

 **I don't own supernatural sadly..**

 **/**

 **CHAPTER 1**

 **Dean POV**

I run as fast as I can through the white corridors.

I can feel the tears falling from my eyes but I don't mind to wipe them away.

I ignore the angry faces people glance at me as I push them aside.

There is only one thought in my mind as I look for room 304.

´What have I done´

I finally found what I was looking for.

My breath is rushed and my hands are shaking.

I open the door.

But as I enter the room I realize something is bothering me.

A sound

A long and high pitched sound that is telling me something.

Something that I never thought I would hear.

The sound of a heart no longer pumping blood.

A heart no longer giving life to a body.

But not to any body.

A body that belonged to a person.

A very important person.

A person that was everything to me

Someone that I carried out from a house on fire a long time ago.

That I sweared to protect.

And failed.

"SAMMY!"

—

 **Yes I know I know, very short chapter BUT that was the idea :) next ones will be longer I promise! I hope you liked this one! Pleeeeaaaaassse review! It always makes my day better**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

 **NO ONES POV**

"Sammy! No!"- Dean screamed as his brain processed all that was in front of him. There were doctors surrounding his little brother trying, unsuccessfully, to bring him back to life. The yelling of instructions and commands were making him dizzy. The lifeless body of Sam jumping at every shock the doctors gave him with the defibrillator was something he'd never forget.

A nurse finally felt his presence in the room and tried to make him go out.-"Sir you can't be here you are going to have to wait outside in the hall until the doctors finish worki-"

"Working!? This is my brother! I NEED to be here! I can't leave him! If they are working then why is his heart-" The eldest Winchester couldn't finish complaining as he heard a doctor say something that made his blood go cold.

"Okay, I will call it. Time of death 5:34pm".

His knees buckled at the news and the world around him started spinning. He heard voices talking to him and felt strong arms around his body to prevent him from falling to the ground, but his mind wasn't paying attention to them. His mind was focused in other thing. In one specific sentence.

 _Time of death 5:34pm._

Was this really happening? Was his little brother really dead?

A memory came to his mind as he let himself be carried by the nurses.

 _He was only 4 years old and little Sammy was 6 months old. They were staying in a motel the night after their mom had been killed, John was sitting in one bed with a glass with strong whiskey in hand and a picture of Mary in the other one. He had bags under his eyes and his body language showed how defeated, tired and alone he felt. Dean didn't understand why they had left and why his mom wasn't there anymore, but he didn't dare to ask his dad about it._

 _So instead he walked and stood next to his brother who was sleeping in the other empty bed. Sammy started to move his little arms making little noises making him look like he was having a nightmare. Dean gently stroked his little brother´s cheek with his thumb and kissed his forehead. "Don't be scared Sammy, I will always be here for you okay? Your big brother is here. Everything's fine"- He whispered to him. He continued caressing him until his nightmare was gone and Sam felt safe again. The four year old yawned and realized how tired he was, so he changed to his pajamas, went to the bed he and Sam shared and hugged his brother to protect him from anything that could hurt him._

" _I promise Sammy, that I will never ever leave you alone. I will never make you mad, sad, or scared. Big brothers don't do that little brother. Good night." - He fell asleep in the moment he finished saying those words._

 _He never knew his father had been listening to every single one of the words he said and that he cried all night because of them._

Suddenly Dean realized he was no longer in room 304. Apparently he was in the next one, 305, a nurse had dragged him out of the room Sam was into that one without him noticing it. He was now laying in bed with a wet cloth on his forehead. He rapidly took it off and stood up.

Big mistake.

As he did so a new wave of dizziness attacked him so he had to sit down again. He took a couple of deep breaths to calm down and clear his mind, when he was ready he stood up again. Slower this time.

As he headed to the door a young doctor entered the room. She was as tall as Dean and had black hair, her eyes were so brown you could almost say they were completely black. _yeah better not make her mad_ Dean thought as he stared at her.

"I guess you came here for Samuel Winchester. I´m doctor Brown, he was my patient"- She told him as she entered the room and sat next to the bed in a plastic chair. Dean nodded. _How did she know Sam´s real name?_

"I-I´m his brother Dean"- He said brokenly. Honestly he was surprised he could talk given the circumstances. "What..what happened?"- He looked at her expectantly, he wanted.. No. Needed to know what had happened to Sam and why was he...

"Car crash, Dean. We received a call that there was a car crash about seven hours ago, apparently your brother's car fell from a cliff because of the rain, the roads were very slippery and he was driving a little bit too fast"- She sighed.

"It looks like something took him by surprise on the road and as he tried to avoid it he lost control of the car and it went directly to a cliff. Even though it was nearly impossible for someone to be there on the road at that hour a young boy called immediately after the accident to the hospital and said that he needed an ambulance to come right away because he saw all of this, sadly we never saw this guy again nor we know who he is".

She stood up and she gently touched Dean's shoulder; therefore he was paler than a paper after hearing all of that. She helped him sit down on the bed and handed him a glass of water. When he received it and she was sure he had calmed down she continued talking.

"I´ve seen a lot of horrible car crashes and accidents in my whole career in this hospital, but honestly? This was the worse"- Dean shuddered, _you are NOT helping_ he thought -"When he came he was unconscious..umm his head had gashes and was covered with glasses because apparently he wasn't using any seatbelt"-She stopped with that comment and looked at him seriously, her almost black eyes looking directly at his. Dean felt like she was reading all of his thoughts. He looked away.

 _Damnit Sam._

She took a big breath -"When he came in he wasn't looking good, his right arm was badly broken in four places and his right leg was broken too. He had 5 broken ribs on the left side and 3 on the right, one of them punctured his right lung, which led it to collapse. He had a big concussion, so we headed him to the ER immediately, in the operating table we almost lost him twice, but we managed to control the internal bleeding and fix his broken bones. The thing that worried me the most was his head; with the impact his body was thrown forward into the windshield, so his head received the hardest part of it. That is why he was in a coma after surgery".-She stopped talking.

 _A coma?!_ Dean had tears in his eyes as he heard the doctor talking, he felt so empty, so guilty and so alone.. This was terrible, he didn't know what the doctor was expecting him to do.

She started pacing the small room .-"We expected him to wake up sooner or later. I had faith on him"- She smiled sadly -"He was a handsome young boy who had so much to live, yet here we are. After surgery everything was doing just like we thought, but something happened. An internal bleeding in his brain, which was too small for us to see it when we were in surgery, caused him to seizure. His already broken body couldn't resist it so his heart stopped working. That's when you appeared."- She had tears too -"Dean, we tried everything we could to save him, but his body couldn't resist the impact. I'm really sorry-"

"Don't you dare to tell me you're sorry for my loss!"- He yelled, making the doctor jump.

"You don't even know me! you didn't even knew Sam! He was all the family I had left and now he's gone! He was my everything! You know NOTHING about us so don't you dare to tell me that! Now leave me the hell alone okay? You had helped me enough giving me such explicit information about how my little brother died!"

With that he stomped out of the room furiously not even bothering to look at Doctor's Brown reaction. He needed time with Sammy.

Even if Sam couldn't answer back.

—-

 **Ooooo mad Dean :) I love how protective he is, but honestly tho Sam just died, what did you expect?**

 **I´m sorry for the mistakes, remember English is not my first language!**

 **Please review! 3**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

 **DEAN´S POV**

As I entered the room I felt my heart pumping so hard it almost hurt. The image in front of me was disturbing and heartbreaking.

Sam was laying in bed no longer connected to all the machines who had kept him alive in the past. His head was wrapped with bandages and his face was nearly recognizable. He had a black eye, was bruised all across his cheek, had a large piece of gauze that taped over his eyebrow and a mean looking split lip, he was very pale and had bags under his eyes, also he looked so much thinner than the last time I saw him... But the thing that broke my heart was the stillness of his chest.

His chest and his whole body were so still I wanted to scream. I closed the door of the room, sat next to him, grabbed one of his cold hands and started crying. I had never cried so much in my whole life.

Not even when mom or dad died.

"Sammy" - I managed to whisper between sobs.

Tears fell. I couldn't stop them. I desperately clung to the thought that all of this was a dream. That this wasn't happening.

It didn't help.

I shuddered as I touched his face and realized how cold he was. He wasn't supposed to be cold and unmoving! He was supposed to open his eyes and start teasing me about being such a girl. He was supposed to start moving and saying all the nerdy stuff and information he had in his brain. But no, that didn't happen, he didn't move. All I wanted to do was make him to open his eyes. I needed to see those big hazel eyes again, just one last time.

My head started hurting because of all the crying; however I didn´t stop. Crying was the only thing I could do in that moment. I was completely alone and had nowhere to go, so I stayed there.

Maybe 30 or 40 minutes passed when nurses and other people started entering the room. They were trying to take Sam away, but I just couldn't let them take him. Every time they appeared I told them to please let me have more time with him because he was the only one I cared about. They always felt pity and would leave me alone.

Even Doctor Brown came.

She tried to tell me that it was moment to take my brother to the morgue because they needed the room for other patient or something. She stayed another 10 minutes talking to me about how I should leave Sam and how I should look for help. She told me that a lot of people felt better talking to someone after a family member's death, but the only person I wanted to talk to was dead. I ignored her.

She left after five minutes.

I didn't dare to move or get out of the room. I knew that if I left Sam alone nurses would take him away from here to the morgue, and if that happened it would be impossible for me to stay with him.

"You know Sammy, when we were younger you always told me how you wanted to be like me when you were older. You always said that you wanted to be 'as brave as my big brother is'."-I told him as I looked at him sadly- " Every time me and dad came back from a hunt you would sit in the bed or chair and beg me to tell you the story of how we killed the monster."

I smiled at the memory

"I remember loving the way your eyes shined with excitement when we got to the part we killed it. You laughed and were so amused by every hunt we did, even with a simple salt and burn you know? One day, when you were 7, you told me that you had told a friend of yours that nothing scared me. You told him that I was the bravest person you knew, even more than dad...Sammy… when you told me that I laughed, but there are things that scare me little brother. A lot. But one of the things that scare me the most is losing you, and right now? Right now i'm terrified"- I took a deep breath- "I- I don't know what to do without you, I never thought of living a life without you and I am going to do everything that is possible to bring you back okay? You just have to give me time...please..come back to me"- My voice broke as those final words were said.

As I kept crying I felt something inside of me break. I felt something being destroyed. Something that I knew that I wasn't going to get back. Something that I couldn't fix.

Something that my Sammy took away.

Part of my life was taken away that day. And I never had it back.

 **NO ONES POV**

" _Deanie!"- He heard his 4 year old brother yell from outside. Dean had been watching TV while Sammy was playing outside in the parking lot of the motel with the new red ball Dean had given him for his birthday. Their father was talking at the phone with someone so he didn't hear Sam._

 _When he heard the yell he rushed outside towards his brother to see what was wrong. "Sam! What is it?"-He said as he sat next to him. The eldest Winchester placed a hand on the youngest shoulder to make him face him, but as he did he realized that they were shaking._

" _Sammy are you crying? What´s wrong, c'mon look at me"-The 8 year old told him preoccupied of what could have happened. His brother slowly turned around, his face was red and wet with tears, his lips trembled as he tried to explained what had happened._

 _He didn't have to tho. Dean had realized immediately._

 _Sam's knees were with blood and his jeans were ripped. He had fallen._

" _Stop crying champ, this is just a little ouchie, let's go inside and I will give you something, so you can go outside and play again okay?"-Dean told him softly as he helped Sammy stand up._

 _10 minutes later Dean was almost done fixing Sam´s little youngest had stopped crying and now was giggling at the funny faces his brother was making._ _Suddenly, when Dean had finished cleaning the wound, he started tickling Sam´s little form. -"Dean st-staahp! p-pleaaseeee"- He yelled between laughter. His tiny arms tried unsuccessfully to avoid his big brother ones and he started kicking the air; the wound on his knee long forgotten._

 _When both Winchesters got tired they sat on the bed they shared and tried to catch their breaths, both smiling._

" _Thanks Dean" - Sammy said. Dean looked at him and softly said -"Sure thing kiddo, it was nothing"_

" _I love you Dean" - The little boy said and then headed running outside not waiting for an answer._

 _Dean stood there looking at the opened door, smiling softly._

" _Love you too little brother"_

"Dean!" - A low voice woke him up from his peaceful dream

 _What is it? Don´t you see that I'm sleeping?_

"Dean, wake up son"- Son?

He opened his eyes and started at the man standing in front of him, the man sadly smiled at him and shook his shoulder -"You awake now kiddo?"

Bobby. _Wait, why was Bobby here? oh right...Sam_

Dean slowly stood up and without any explanation hugged Bobby. He so needed someone to talk to right now, someone that could understand his pain and help him with what was going on.

The old man hugged Dean tightly, he wasn't going to leave him alone. Not after losing the most important person in his whole life. He watched both Winchesters grow and become great men,who protected and loved each other so much it sometimes worried him. Because he knew that someday one of them would leave the other one, and he also knew that a Dean without Sam wasn't something easy to deal with.

That´s why when he received the call from the hospital he rushed there without thinking it twice. The winchester boys needed him, and he wasn't going to let them down.

As they broke the hug Dean noticed that Bobby's eyes were red. _Was he crying?_

"Bobby..I-I"

"Don´t. You have nothing to tell me, okay boy? I was in my house when the phone started ringing. It showed your name on it, but when I answered another voice started talking. A woman, Doctor Brown?"- Dean nodded, _what was she doing with his phone and calling Bobby? -_ "Yeah, she told me what had happened to Sam and that you didn't want them to take him out of your sight… she wanted me to come here immediately and she didn't have to say it twice boy."

"So she literally just picked my phone without my permission, called someone she didn't even know and asked for help because she couldn't handle the overprotectiveness I have towards Sammy? Unbelievable" -He scuffed and looked at the room, suddenly he realized.

Sam´s body wasn't there. _Oh no you didn´t_

"Bobby where the hell is Sam?! You let them take him away?! Oh my god Sammy. We need to find him! I can't... I just can't leave him, they will make us buy a coffin and make a funeral and...but.. I don't...I can't say goodbye yet I'm not ready!"- Dean shouted at him as he started to hyperventilate. How was he so stupid to fall asleep, he needed to find his brother now. They were in a big trouble, how could the hospital staff (Doctor Brown) be such a son of a bitch?!

"Wowow Ace calm down okay? When I arrived here you were the only one in the room, the bed was empty and when I arrived I didn't notice any bed being transported with Sam… they were long gone when I came here. I guess that doctor Brown took advantage of you because you were sleeping and took him away, but we will go and find him kay?"- Bobby said trying to calm him down before he passed out or something.

"Here, drink some water Dean or you are going to pass out." -He handed Dean a bottle with water he buy on the first floor. Dean grabbed it and started drinking rapidly. Bobby sighed and his eyes roamed over the room.

It was white with two framed pictures of different flowers in the wall above the bed. It had a little table with 2 chairs and a small couch. Looking over at the oldest Winchester he knew immediately that he was having a rough time. His eyes were dark and he hadn't seen him smile, but what made Bobby know how bad he was, was the hug he received the moment Dean woke up. It wasn't just a hug, the hig he received was a hug of someone that was suffering and feeling alone. Someone that was so mentally destroyed he couldn't bare a second more alone.

He smiled sadly at Dean when he finished drinking his water and stood up.

"Kay, let's go"


End file.
